Mad dashes

I've had a really crazy week or so (how long has it been?) that has seen me cross most of Asia in very little time. Here's a quick filler, I'm sorry I can't be more informative right now, as I'm far too worn out:
From Thailand, I crossed early morning into Laos via the Friendship Bridge, only 20 or so km from Vientiane, the capital of that country. It's a capital, but real small and not very hectic (especially by Asian standards), where there isn't much more to do than see a couple Wats (monasteries) and the National Museum. Having Watted myself out in Thailand, and headed to Luang Prabang next - a city full of Wats that the UNESCO has protected - I got myself a) A Vietnamese visa (in all of 15 minutes!), b) a bus ticket, and after visiting the national museum, c) a pleasant buzz as I sat on the bank overlooking the Mekong, eating and drinking Beerlao, the cheapest beer I've ever encountered, but without doubt also the best on my trip, except for a few microbrews in New Zealand and Kunstmann in Chile. Beerlao on it's own may be enough to justify a trip to the country. But the weirdest thing was stepping off the municipal bus I had taken from the border to the Morning Market in the center of town (if you can call it that....) and ducking inside to escape the hounding of tuktuk drivers - only to be standing in front of dozens of cases/vendors of cell phones, PDA's, and other potable communications devices generations ahead of what there is in the USA. Weird to see that, especially as a first sight of the country.
After an overnight bus I arrived in Luang Prabang, where I spent the day seeing a few Wats, before picking up a book (David Copperfield), and after 2 nights on cramped buses, finally caught some sleep in a bad. Bright and early the next day, I headed off for Hanoi - which looks only 300-400 km away in a straight line, if you check a map. However, there are no direct connections, and so I spent 10 hours going SE, leaving me 3 hours shy of the Vietnamese border (all of 130km! Lao is not for those in a rush....) at Phonasavan, another UNESCO world heritage site, where I had to stay the night. Found a decent bed for 2 US with a shared toilethole, and a cool owner who shared his rice whiskey with me - yumm! I only wish I'd have had time to stay and see the Fields of Jars, the big archaeological thing there, but I was trying to meet Charlotte in Shanghai, so I had to keep pushing on. Also, and just as an aside - in much of Laos, and especially this part, you can NEVER EVER step off the path - the country is literally full of UXOs (unexploded ordinances) from the USA's "Secret War" - more ordinance was dropped per square kilometer here than anywhere else in the world, ever. This was between 1963 and 1975, and most of that ordinance is still lying around. Quite frankly, I don't understand what they were aiming for, the whole country is just farming villages, and since the US couldn't hit the Viet Cong in Vietnam, I don't know why they thought they'd be able to do so here. In continued ridiculousness, the US has never taken part in removing the mines. There's a non-profit - principally funded by the French - and the UN doing all the work here, but more than 80% of the country is still dangerous, so I've been told. As one of the few non-signatories to the anti-landmine convention, you'd think the least the US could do is help this little country out a bit and pay for some of the removal, but no, the US won't clean up after itself, will it. Wonder what's going to happen on global climate change and the UXOs in Iraq. Well, here's your first vision people, and this vision has lots of people, from children to ancients, running around without hands, feet and legs - or for many, crawling along the streets.
6.30 the next morning, I was on a 12 hour bus to Vinh in Vietnam, where I caught a 6 hour bus to Hanoi, arriving shortly after midnight, not a cent in my pocket, but 10 dollars in debt to a German girl who was on the same mission as I and had lent me the money.

The next morning, I tried to buy train tickets directly from there to Beijing - sold out. So instead I went to see the Palace of Literature, which was first built in 1070 and became the first national university 6 years thereafter - a fine old temple, at the gates of which rides must dismount, as is written there. Although this temple was mostly inscribed with Chinese characters, it generally was really nice to be back in a country that uses Latin script - maybe there is something beneficial to colonialism? No, just kidding, but being able to match up words or show people writing for directions makes a huge difference. But I digress....
Next I tried to see the dead Ho Chi Min. I figured that going through Hanoi, Beijing and Moscow, I could make a nice little tour of seeing various dead communists in their differing state of being made of wax (Lenin is believed to be more than 99% wax at this point). Unfortunately, it was Friday, and thus the mausoleum was closed, and I was running around sweltering Hanoi in long pants for nothing (hottest place on the trip). The mausoleum is also closed on Mondays, apparently as days of rest, although I'm unclear why a dead person needs rest. But at least with the rest coming on Mondays and Fridays, it's evenly distributed throughout the week, just as Communism has successfully distributed the Vietnamese wealth equally among its people..... wait a moment! No it hasn't! Lots of Mercedes Benz in Hanoi, and lots of really really poor people. An all these "communist" countries - Laos, Vietnam, China - seem to have a far more thriving entrepreneurial spirit than anything I've seen in the West. Unfortunately, since leaving Thailand, I've also come to realize that most communist economies are also rip-off economies, so you always have to double check everything, write down every price (a spoken word is worth nothing in the face of corrupt police), and always make sure to count your change. It's quite annoying, to be honest, and makes me appreciate the land of smiles all the more in retrospect, although Bangkok certainly contained many of these elements. It's interesting to contrast Laos and Bolivia in that respect: Both are the poorest, landlocked countries surrounded by others that attract most the tourists, and thus are apt for comparison. In Bolivia, the people are genuinely happy you came, impressed that you did, and generally honest in their business with you. In Laos, you're a big walking dollar sign and everyone wants a piece - including monasteries and monks!
Being disappointed by not seeing Ho and not having a ticket, I left in the early afternoon and headed to the border, where I crossed and then got a bus to Nanning, only to find out that everything is full. The following day I got on a 28 hour train ride to Shanghai - and all that was left were standing tickets. I will say that this ride was by far the most unnerving and uncomfortable in my life. Also, if SARS ever makes a comeback, all the Chinese are f&^%ed, because what observed there nearly made me sick. The trains are overcrowded, people spilling all over the place. And you'd think that would mean some people would sit on the ground, but you'd be wrong if you thought that: the same people who would benefit most from a clean floor - those standing - liberally put their waste there, spit, and generally act as though they are in the mighty outdoors, not a cramped train. This is abetted by the attendants, who every so often come through and sweep up the floor, which means they just spread around the grime as they go, making it really really nasty. The result is that you quite literally have to stand. However, people squeeze together on the benches and get up to stretch occasionally, letting some of the standing passengers get a couple minutes of rest. Only at night do some people sit - but only between cars, near the bathrooms on the metal floors; these areas have had people walking out of the bathrooms (once again toiletholes) and over them, spreading god knows what all day long (the floors inside were always wet), so that was a decision I really didn't understand. I also saw one guy lie down on his stomach, then make like a snake and slither under a bench of seats, not to be seen again for several hours (but then, with a big brownish-black mark on the front of his white shirt), a feat I was quite impressed by if only for his agility, not to mention willingness to sleep on the floor.

Once I arrived in Shanghai, I tried to reach Charlotte by phone, but since she still hadn't sent me her mobile number, I had to call Prachee in the States, where I woke her up at 4 am. Because SkypeOut somehow doesn't seem to work in China, and I can hear other people but they can't hear me, she got on the computer and then called my mother for me, thus supplying me with the appropriate mobile number - thank you again to the 2 most important women in my life. However, it was for naught as Charlotte did not have enough credit left on her phone to receive calls, and so I went to find a hotel near the main railway station, which was another nightmare. Now, I'm staying in a somewhat shady place where not a word of English is spoken. I wonder if my bag will still be there when I get back tonight? I locked it up with my PakSafe and all, but who knows.....

As for China, Nanning really impressed me: it's huge (the name wasn't familiar to me, I have to add, although certainly I must have read of it somewhere), and it was seemingly all new. The bus terminal was amazing, and the new high rise section of the city was like nothing else I've ever seen. I also stayed in a hotel that had a computer in the room, although most the sites I like to use - like blogger, for instance - are user-content oriented and thus not necessarily accessible in China. That said, I really hope this post comes through, because I can't see my own page here, but I'm hoping I can post to it.
As for Shanghai, it too is huge, but even on a clear day like today, you can look at the sun without problems because the air is so filthy. I've also noticed an overabundance of McDonald's. Strangely enough though, trying to find an internet cafe here is akin to seeking out a barbacoa burrito in Tel Aviv - it's probably not going to happen (for those that don't know, barbacoa is string barbecue pork). Moreover, most people here can't even understand the concept. When I try to explain it, I draw blank stares, and the best I have been able to do is the business center at major hotels, although these aren't really what I'm going for since they are kind of expensive and not really oriented to long term use. I think the problem is that China is too connected: every little store here has a computer with internet and printer, and most people have internet on their phones (not to mention at home), so they don't need an internet cafe. Only near the South train station did I find an internet cafe, and I'm contemplating returning, although it's on the far side of the city, 30 minutes by subway.

Wow, this has turned into a really long post. But I still ahve to add a few final notes:
I've gone about 4000km in 4 days, most of it through rural areas - I have seen a lot of Asia, and buses and trains have given me an interesting view of the life of those who get on and off them.

I'm still shocked at how few travelers in SE-Asia are aware that Thailand is no longer a democracy (technically a constitutional monarchy), but that it's democratic leadership was done away in a military coupe last October, and the promised new elections (that were to follow within 6 months) still haven't happened. Now the militaries are trying to solidify their position as political heavyweights, here an article from today. Also, the term People Republic pretty much means top-down autocracy, but that hasn't reached the travellers yet, either.....
In Laos, having a good time is not part of the government's plan. Everything closes early, and the bar in Luang Prabang kicked everyone out 25 minutes before "close" because they said the police was coming in "2 minutes". 15 minutes later, still no pigs on the horizon..... I've used this one at house parties to clear out space, and apparently so do bars in Laos.
Why is Rob Hughes the best football writer on earth? Well, beyond his unique access to the biggest players in the game - both on and off the field - here a sample of his writing: "Far from the maddening nonsense of the Beckhams touching down on a distant Galaxy, in the Asian Cup tournament soccer has real meaning on planet Earth." Delicious.....